there's paper in my vomit.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
