I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
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He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
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I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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