There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
