I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
