I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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