So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
No I am not eating basil off your cock
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
