Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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