You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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