Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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