we're blogging at a bar
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
