Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
