Your face is a jimmy john
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize