I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
