and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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