he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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