i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
