This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
