Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
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the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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