He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
