i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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