I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
