wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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