Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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