Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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