i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
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answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
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I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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