Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
