I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
