If i come over, it means nothing
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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