Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
