We're like a lot better than the average bears
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
