So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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