there's paper in my vomit.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just gift wrapped bread.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
