Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize
