I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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