i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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