the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
