The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
