So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
