i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
