When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
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I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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