my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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