It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
