Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
