Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
