I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize