I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
