you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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