I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i dont even know how to be here
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
