SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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