I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize