Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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