So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
