Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
