omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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