This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
