did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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