i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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