fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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