Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize