Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I touched a dick in church today
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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