we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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