I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
