But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
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I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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