Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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