Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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