thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
