Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize